Honouring our deceased

My mother would have turned 93 years old on 25 August this year. She was a stylish and feisty lady. It is always a trigger to recall special times when a Birthday or Christmas approaches from those no longer amongst us.

Everyone grieves differently. For me it was a sense of relief and later peace knowing my mother lived to the age of 87 and died from a heart attack. My Dad was my best friend. When he died at the age of 72 from lung cancer, a part of me died too. Pineapples, watermelons, palm trees, checked or striped shirts all remind me of him.

Tips in assisting the grieving process:

* It is important that you allow yourself time to process and grieve. This includes not stopping your tears or your feelings.

* Seek help from a mental health professional. It should be one that allows you to feel heard, safe and valued.

* Friends and relatives mean well but hearing comments such as” life will go on” or, “they are in a better place,”or “I know how you feel” doesn’t always help. It would depend on the type of relationship you had with the deceased, your spiritual beliefs and the circumstance of how they died.

* I know it is the last thing on your mind but “Self Care” matters during the grieving process. This includes ensuring you are eating and sleeping, personal hygiene, physical or mindful activities and being kind to yourself. Feelings of guilt and regret can at times sabotage our minds and have a negative impact in our lives during this time.

When my Dad and Mother died I created a mini-cushion from something they had worn. I try to visit places they had been and most importantly live my life as they would have wanted for me.

It is never easy to let go, Art Therapy can create a platform to assist in the grieving process and honour our deceased loved ones the way you would like them to be treasured, so that they can continue to live through us.